My love one, my precious memory...^^Love u

I shall having my dhamma-talk when i m in novitiate programee, but now i m here lying on the floor missing all of you...Perhaps i do not need anymore dinner but only a nice bath.I enjoy the journey of being a nun.Crying is okey, nothing is wrong.I know my purpose to be there, to heal my thinking and training myself to be more discipline.Healing myself...

I know that i had broken the games rule.I fail and also out of this game.I have to wait for the next round.I even do not know, did i ever be mindful since i was born.I m not curious about it, but really worried about myself...Or i m just wating my life for my past 14years life?Yes, i m suprises for my concentration on my study.But...if i hav no love, no compassion, no patient, nohumble, no honest,no kindness to my family...then i m just a nobody.Worried,cant change anything, what i need to do is only to face,to solve to develop myself...I m so sorry to my family.now i realize that even what had they done to me,they r still the best, coz we r a family.My relationship with my sister is getting better after this programme...i m so glad.n i will keep it on.

Rev Sumedha, he is the main trainer during this programme.Inside bhante's eyes, its full of tears ,and me too...I m so unwillingly to see him be like this.Although he gt a little bit harsh during this training programme, but i see his warm and gentle through his eyes--windows of soul, really!Thx for sharing my first(true hearts)experience of giving respect to my parents. i do it!did u see?i noe u r always there to support and encourage me .i wanna to let u know, at least tis programme is valuabe, coz i practise wat i learnt in my daily life.No practise, no point.i death, but i will alive.u say, "now“is the best time to do everything, right?i love u.love is bring-ing joy and happiness to each others , and i hope that u had received my blessing to u.i think i will miss ur bell ring n ur great mysterious smile.If i didnt ever understand myself and the people just next to me, how can i love them?No way!I will try my best and not let my wishes to be too late.Just like what u say,"everythings will change."I promise to u and also myself. i will do as my buddhist name>>Samadhi (right concentration).keep going on!

I saw rev(s) sacrifices ...They done so much things behind us.I see.They must be very tired and exhausted ,right?Thx so much of all ur caring and love.I appreciate all i found in this lovely temple. My dearest fren, how r u?I miss u...

Perhaps i dun need any dinner, any luxurious bed, computers and handphone(thinking...XD), but i need all of u. I love u! As what u say, we share all the same things, we r one.I hav no reason to hurt or hate u...i will remember this memorable scence between u and me...^^

Even thought i m in a little trouble during this programme,but i still want to tell u all" i love u!"

离家？= 出走？

要离家七....天，兴奋中夹带不知什么样的滋味...
我啊，都不知道几时开始盼望起这一天了。
终于盼到这一天了,还有一个小时半。我是在倒数吗？呵呵...

要坚强，不可以重蹈覆辙了！
每一次的泪，都不会是白流的。至少我是这么相信的！
上一次，我发现了自己的伤...也面对了！
在今天的之前，我都有在反省。=)

我这个人，是不习惯那种太感性的场面，可能是因为从小生长的环境吧...
算了...就让我的眼睛，涩涩的、干干的、酸酸的...
一个人！

有时，吃亏一点儿是没关系的。
可能，这一点儿吃亏，将来会是我的法宝...
忍，可以看见一个人的修养品格。忍，我知道我可以的！+ಉ
可能，这一点一滴，会是为将来编制美好的围巾，让人感到无比温馨+安全。^^

我想，这一种青+褐的颜色，可以解释现在我心中的矛盾。
至少，这种矛盾，不会让我太不舒服。我会为自己找一个平衡的立足点...

你知道么？

第一次，成功在你面前表现得那么的理智。我想，倘若不是网络的距离，我也会打结吧？

你，是一个我敬爱的老师，但你却无形中的伤害了我。你不知，你不知道，你也是无心的，我知道！所以，我还可以微笑！=)一年的沉默，我还撑得过。不想贸然进入你的世界，因为我知道终究会被流放他国...倒不如礼貌的离开，至少这样，还能够维持我们往日的回忆。我很重视回忆,让我一个人寻找你的足迹=）...你想不到我还会记得,但我对于你的惊讶却熟悉得很。都在预料中...单字的回复，让我好心寒。真的那么快，一年过去了。都过去了，但我很怀念这种有味道、有形状的回忆！你介意得让我伤心。我，接下来的动作又要哭吗？不了，我不会！我，要把伤心化为动力，就像油棕提炼为石油...你给了我前进的动力，只是开始。但我总不能依赖下去。我会靠自己的信念与实力证明给你看。我会的！你可以不相信我，但我会让你看见。我不怨你，永远的只会爱你。我记得你与我的颜色，是蓝色...少了忧郁的蓝，一样很美！

......看到你回复的信号了，我知道，这一次，一定是来道别的！我有这样一种感觉。想挽留你，但却选择这样...真的，我不是猜对了，而是惯律。这么久以来的惯例！又是两个字“再见”...“再见”，翻译出来真的是再相见么？我想，不一定...

不过，至少，我会让说有的人觉得我的“再见”是真的真的想与他在相见...=)

无题，但并不无聊！

没有惊喜不等于没有快乐。
失去了惊喜的感觉，却同时也失去了心痛的感觉。
没有了心痛和惊喜的感觉，就像行尸走肉般...没有目标，没有自己。

是麻木了。就像吃饭那样正常、习惯？
我应该兴奋、高兴的。^^


简老师明年就没有教书了...
我不知道要怎样表达此刻的情绪。是一种激动、悲悲交融的感觉。
此时此刻，我写不出任何的文字。零零碎碎的回忆，就像是粼粼的水波，在阳光下显得多么美确有多么平凡和宁静。太久了，都不允许自己把感情流露。把感情投入考试中？><
或许也是好的，他们可能都不喜欢被欢送的感觉...最重要的，是让他们深深地感受到我们对他们的祝福。我们永远与他们走在一块儿。感激他们的出现，陪伴我们走过。^^这份爱，可能很容易被遗忘。但是，会有一份沉淀的最深感情在我们的心中。不易被想起，却又不易被忘记。没有任何的承诺，但却是永远的承诺...珍惜，是我的承诺!

我答应过要给你一个最难忘的回忆！我会做到！相信我....